The Thinking Partnership's Arabella Ellis was invited to comment in The Financial Times column The Careerist by Rhymer Rigby, which this week considered whether leaders need to be liked.

We're always being told that leaders should be respected and trusted. But should they be liked too? And, if so, how do you convince your staff that you're a nice person?

Is being popular good for my career?
It is not a prerequisite, but it will make your working life easier. "I'd argue that all good bosses should be trusted and respected, but some of them go beyond that and are actually liked," says social entrepreneur Jo Owen. To be liked, "you need to genuinely care about people and their careers. People who do this tend to be rated very highly and inspire great loyalty".

Arabella Ellis at leadership consultancy The Thinking Partnership, says: "A big part of leadership is getting people to go the extra mile and being liked will help you do that. But it's a bit like being a parent - your goal should be to create an atmosphere of respect and trust, not to be everyone's best friend."

How do I stay liked on the way up?
"In some way it's hardest to be liked in middle management because your colleagues are also your competitors," says Mr Owen.

Ceri Roderick of business psychologists Pearn Kandola adds that it is possible to be competitive without being nasty. "You can actually get away with being unpleasant to people on your way up, because you get promoted away from them quite quickly, but sooner or later it usually comes back to bite you, " he says.

"It's also a reputational thing. If you are unpleasant or insincere to people, they will tell other people and a bad reputation is very hard to change."

Mr Roderick says that as you move higher in a company, people skills become more, not less, important as your results are more likely to depend on the work of others.

What can I do to connect to those who work for me?
At higher levels, Mr Owen says, "you need to get out of the C-suite and talk and listen to ordinary people. It's not about doing factory inspections with line managers, it's about conversations with people. It's about having cups of tea. It's not complicated but it does take courage".

It is also better to spend 10 minutes with one person than it is to spend 10 seconds with 30 people. Talk - and, just as importantly, listen - to a few people and they'll tell others about it. "Once you've spoken to a number of people you leverage the gossip network. Do it well and your reputation can spread like wildfire."

Are there any other traits that help?
Ms Ellis says humour is a great way of building bridges with staff. "Being able to laugh - especially at yourself - does a great deal to humanise you. You should also have a little humility about you too. Don't believe you're a leader because you're better; acknowledge the role of chance. Stay grounded - this can be a real challenge as the higher you get, the less you're criticised. Listen to friends, spouses and kids - people who won't tell you just what they think you want to hear."

Are there any downsides to being liked?
The obvious drawback is that people who want to be liked too much will be thought weak. "Those who are naturally too agreeable put relationships ahead of getting things done," says Mr Roderick. "You have to work on the right level of agreeableness."

(Copyright The Financial Times Limited 2011)